WHO IS TO BLAME?

Over the years I seem to have made quite a name for myself. When people see me they already have a certain opinion of me. They seem to know what I can and cannot do and how I will react to certain situations. To say the least people seem to have an understanding of who I am or who they think I am…..whether they are often right or wrong will be left unsaid……for now.

This past weekend I attended a wedding of one of my close friends. We got to know each other through a certain group. All of us cleared high school the same year and we kinda stuck to each other. It has been quite an eventful nine years. A number of us have gotten married and a few of us are left, holding the fort, so to speak….ok let me backtrack kidogo…..

I started by saying that people seem to know me well right? So yeah, I wasn’t in the lineup. That went down ok. But I started to think haiya!!When we got down to explaining ati who gets to do what…..Let me put it this way, much as I wasn’t in the lineup I wanted to feel part of the whole planning process coz she was my girl. But quite the contrary things just passed me by…..the window shopping for the dresses, the brides maids fitting, the meetings…..everything!!  I actually felt bad that I missed out on everything but I never said a word coz all my gals looked ok with how things were. However, I felt bad that people only remembered me to do errands and make sure everything runs smoothly but I dint count for the random moments……These always makes the ending more pleasant when you remember the journey…….So back to my galz wedding…….

The service…. I was called up to sing and the sound guys just couldn’t find the track!! I stood there for what seemed like 10 minutes waiting for them to get it right but they just couldn’t get it! I ended up walking off the stage waiting for the ground to swallow up right there before I faced people telling me ‘sorry’. Embarrassment is one of those feeling I don’t like to experience often. I felt mad at everyone. The sound guy, my pal whom we were to sing with and who loaded the track to the sound guy, the people who were staring at me telling me ‘sorry’, myself for not doing another sound check that morning……….I wanted to blame someone, anyone but I just couldn’t point out who exactly I wanted to place the full blame on.

Who is to blame for the image you have set for yourself out there? I seem to have made a name for myself as that strong woman who is always so busy running the affairs of the world. When i get mad, people run coz I know how to get mad!! I have come out as that person people don’t want to meddle in their affairs coz either I look strong enough or I might just snap them away for saying something out of place. Who is to blame when I pass off as being ok while im actually not ok? I just got to thinking do people actually know me? Is it ok to correct people when they continue to have an opinion of you even after you have been friends for a while?

Im just thinking who exactly is to blame for the image we have set for ourselves out there?

Happy Birthday

I sat down on my birthday and thought.....what should i do to mark this day??
I could not come up with anything out of the norm as i have so done in my previous birthdays: Best birthday party ever at 7 years- mum made me a dress, at 25 years threw myself an awesome party :-) at 26 i had a couple of sessions with a life coach (very out random right??) and many more birthday events in between.......So i thought, why not start to share snipets of life with my friends out there? So here i am, a new blogger :-)
Birthdays.....in my quest to come out as a well read individual i researched kidogo about the origin of Birthdays. Did you know that celebrating Birthdays was a pagan Egyptian custom? I got so stressed when i read this article that clearly seemed to be against the practise of celebrating birthdays as it was a show of great selfishness! I sat back and thought how excited i get just about the time that the beautiful month of May draws near and moreso on May 5th.....Is that a show of selfishness?
All over the world people mark their birthdays in different ways, some are spanked as per the number of years they are celebrating! Some sing, some share cake. But, I especially loved the tradition in North America, where the celebration of a birthday is fundamentally about celebrating the role of friends and families in an individual's life and recognizing their importance! I totally love this!

How do you celebrate your birthday? Ama are you one of those who think this is a pagan practise?
This year i spent my birthday alone in my house. Except for the one phone call from my sis and nephew, and the numerous texts and wall posts, i spent the day in quiet reflection. I was not sad, but neither was i ati happyyyy. It was just one of those days when no particular emotion could fit in...... To put it candidly i wasn't particularly sad coz im one of those people who loves my own company so i was just ok hanging out alone.....then again i wasn't happy coz i did nothing out of the ordinary as it had been my practise all my earlier birthdays. It actually hit me that as people grow older time never seems to come by as easily as it was when we were younger...... it was ok to sit and wait for a surprise coz it sure would come! I do wish i did not have to celebrate my birthday alone but that will be something that will go down in memory lane. In future i have learnt one thing..... make it happen for myself! Don't wait for the surprise to come from others, make your Birthday happen for you!!

I choose to look at Birthdays as a time to celebrate ME. I celebrate Gods goodness and faithfullness in making me into who i am today. It is a time to reflect on the chapter that is just ending and the beginning of a new one. Every other day i thank God for everything around me but THIS one day i thank Him for ME! I know it does sounds a bit selfish but hey, God dint make two copies of me! We are all on a journey and every year of our lives we turn onto a new road and map a new diretion to follow. Honor those who have gone ahead of you by consulting on the right road map to follow.

I have covered several miles in my journey and i do believe im learning how to read the map better than i did in my earlier years of life. My journey is not over. I have yet a great distance to cover and much to learn and share.I choose to celebrate my milestones on my birthday and also choose to celebrate with others on their birthdays.

In your journey, keep God’s principles in mind.Be balanced! Be happy! Don’t be afraid to give, show and share love to family and friends. AND most definately do remember to have a Happy Birthday!!